well,today has been kind of weird.i wasn't myself.i feel so angry and didn't have the mood to dance.i didn't even make anyone laugh..i am really not myself.i think im taking tis blow too hard.i think i shld give this matter a rest.let everyone cool down first.but i doubt it will be back to normal.now that the JESY is no more.because of misunderstandings,enviness and a post i wrote recently.bt it was jus how i felt during that point of time.was i wrong to write that post?am i jus accusing anyhow? i was jus stating my facts on wats happening& how i felt about it..and i think she took it too hard becos it was her im talking about..which eventually ended up like tis.i think both of us are at fault.cos we jus wanted to test each other patience,making one another jealous and becos i got the attention(most of the time..i guess..) and she didnt get the attention and was leftout,most of the time.well,to tell u the truth wen im wit her i didnt got much to say.cos there's nothing to talk about.but wen im wit yus or ct.i would have lots of things to talk about till i'll be running out of saliva.i guess its becos last year she wasn't in the same class as us(me,ct&yus) and i feel kind of awkward whenever im wit her.cos its like we weren't so close for one year accept during malay classes.and she would be the one leftout most of the time.cos i think tat time i was really close wit yus.and there were fights between us lots of time.then now wen we are in the same class i tried to be close to her bt i will still be too used wit wats happened last year.the closeness.i guess if we weren't seperated then there wouldn't b any conflicts between us.i guess im too used wit last year.bt she would have to give me moremoremore time to adjust myself.bt i guess to her its enough.cos she had given me loads&loads of chances.i think if i've had jus given her my 100% and didnt care about anyting else.then tis wouldn't have had happen.i'll jus respect her decision.cos its final.i have to be independent from now onwards.i guess shes better off w/o me.cos she thinks tat its useless to hav a fren like me who only thinks about herself all the time,who is nt even happy 4 her wen she has bf,who does nt even CARE to cheer her up wen she is over thre infront of me crying,accuse her anyhow and didn't care about her feelings.well, all i've gt to say is that yes i do think about myself all the time.and wasn't happy wen she has bf becos i think tat all her attention will b on him(ok tis was long time ago.so i shan't ungkit bout it.)for the accuse her anyhow is yea sometimes cos sometimes im in the wrong and i'll push all the blame to her.and i did care bout her feelings..sometimes.cos im not so good in comforting people.and i jus dnt care.these points have proven tat im not a true fren.bt its for her point of view.becos i didnt treat her as well as i've treated ct and yus.so its their decision on wat they want to think about me.
and it all started out after she read my blog ytd.and before she read the blog,we were both at mc laughing our ass off.and i felt tat it was like before..during sec 1.but it all eventually change after she read about me saying tat she was trying to make me jealous wen she was wit yus at mc.well,all i've got to say is tat it was wat i felt during that point of time.and some other occassions tat happen in sch.its jus how i feel.is tat like wrong to feel tat way?its my point of view.i guess we both cnt understand each other.