It has been quite sometime since I last wrote here. School has just leaped its way up from being busy to hectic :( It really sucks to be in this situation where time is not on your side. But I'm still in this battlefield fighting till the end. Talking about the end, my holidays will be coming pretty soon and I'm so very excited for it. I've got a whole list of activities I'd love to do and for once, I'd like to travel overseas during the school holiday period.

It has been years since I last did that. The last long overseas trip that is still fresh in my mind was the trip to Australia, Gold Coast. I was young and lost during that point of time haha so whatever I experienced was just solely for the fun of it, I never questioned on anything. For now, at this age, I'd really love to explore and experience a whole lot of new things since I'm able to think, critique and understand things much more. My CB lecturer would always encourage all of us to go travel and see the world. As quoted, "just get out of Singapore!" it even comes to a point where he became really desperate for all of us to travel that he was even willing to pay for the air ticket to and back from the country we choose. But obviously we had to pay him back but he is in no hurry to have the money back. He is one of the many reasons that makes me want to travel.

The next vital reason for me wanting to travel is to widen my perspective and horizon of life. I really feel as though I'm stuck in the bottle afraid of spilling. I'm too comfortable in my own zone and I restrict myself from exploring. I know I suck :( But that's just me, afraid. Afraid is one of the key words that best describes me. It comes to a point where I had to force myself to break free from my comfort zone. I just restrict myself from doing things I want to do and I do not know why :/ So this is another problem I have to work on during the holidays or even now.

Well, for now I guess its just composing myself and fight my way through this battlefield called school life.

You know sometimes I just wish I can be as open as the sky, be spot on, have the confidence in everything I do and the list just goes on. I'm not any of whatever is mentioned above and I bet many especially close ones are quite irritated/frustrated/'please just change for once' with me :( I'm still working on the conflict within me. As now, I realize I'm not contented. I just feel really empty and lost these days. & I just really really hate this feeling. I'll be better one day. I just need time to compose my thoughts and feelings. I'll be Juls. Motivation and support is all I need right now :')