Friends. They come and go whenever they want, be it night or day, rain or shine. The first phase of knowing someone new is always very very scary, nerve wrecking. Questions will start to cloud your mine as to whether they will accept you for who you are or for what you are. Major difference. Some would resort to putting on a facade in order to be friends with that particular person. Sometimes I wonder why would they resort to such "fakeness" in order to be friends with them. Well, they just want to be accepted. I mean who doesn't right?

Acceptance is a person's agreement to experience a situation, to follow a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it, protest, or exit. In order to be accepted, they know that they will need to conform to certain "rules" that is made by the soon-to-be-friend. I was once in that position. Especially during Primary school. In school, there was the popular, happening kids and the boring, not so friendly ones, ironically. I can still remember vividly that I will try to buy things that my friends own just because my thinking,then, was if I have the same things etc wallet, bag or even shoes as them we'll be friends forever. Yes people, just because of the similar things owned. I was in the "group", the popular one. I felt accepted and I was weirdly happy with my friends even though I would be the one whom they'd make fun of. But for the friendship, I was willing to do anything to stay in that "group". Friends was my everything.

As I grow, I soon realize how stupid I was to follow every single shit they did in order to be accepted. I became my usual self back. I made a vow to myself to never be someone I'm not just because I wanted to be accepted. The start of Secondary school, it was a fresh start for me to make friends with anyone I came across. Honestly, I'm only better at clicking with my own kind but I still do have close ones from the other kinds. I had my own clique of friends. It consisted of 4 girls, including myself and my neighbor. I was happy with the group because I was the leader. Chey.. But soon, I realize they dislike me because I was bossing around a lot and I did many shit which was just plain childish. I was A bitch. They were afraid of me because I was the sensitive one and I was the one who would put on a black face up to the point where they would have to come and pujuk me. Yes, my ego was damn big then. Still, friends was my everything.

As years passed, our friendship of 4 dismantled. We formed our own cliques. Soon, in Secondary 3, I was the only one in F class while the rest, G class. I was alone. But during that point of time, I felt great. I was able to focus properly, boys did not cross my mind at all and I was just in that small JuJu world of mine. I was at my best form. Although friendship problems was always there to make me breakdown every once in a while but I was still able to perform. Secondary 4 came. I soon realize who my true friends are. But there was one girl in particular who became my best friend up till this very day. The girl who was in the group of 4, the one whom I betrayed to have my own clique, the one who was there for me even though I hurt her and the one who form her own clique with the other kinds - my neighbor. Up till now, I still can't forgive myself for all the shit I did to her. But at the end of the day, she was the one who accepted me for the way that I am.

Sec 4 passed by with the two of us against the whole world. We were both inseparable. Boys were not in our way. We both just focused on our studies and everything we did, we did it together. I was happy because nothing was in my way and friends wasn't the problem anymore.

Sec 5 came, it was the major year for the 2 of us. But amusingly, our love life somehow happened together on that very year. And guess what we were attached with a pair of hot twins!!!...NOT. A pair of best friends, just like us. We began to drift because we had our love life to entertain. But we still did have double dates.

Soon enough, poly came knocking. And guess what? We both got into the same school even though it was my 5th choice and hers 1st. Fated much. I was really nervous on the first day of orientation, that I actually broke down on the way home from school. Yes, that was how nervous I was but at the same time sad that I would be friendless. But, I then had my own clique, yet again, although I did clique with my whole class. I was happy again with my class since I was accepted by everyone. But friendshit just had to happen. Shan't elaborate about it, since I've let it out to both my best and boyfriend who are very supportive and understanding about it :) , cos it won't make a difference to my life anyway.

All in all, I just realize how much I've been through just with friends. The saying of "friends come and go" is totally a true fact that everyone needs to accept. I've made the mistake of depending on friends more than family and I've finally learnt. I've moved on. Well, that's life. No point staying stagnant for something that's not as worth as living your life to the fullest.